Despite people occasionally complimenting me for being nonjudgemental, I’m actually something worse. I call what I am “unjudgemental”.  What’s the difference? Nonjudgemental is when you choose to not treat people worse because of your judgements of them. Unjudgemental is when you don’t even make judgements of people, not even in your head.

For example, let’s say someone is a malicious gossip. A judgemental person would shun them. A nonjudgemental person would still treat them with respect. They just would not tell them any secrets. An unjudgemental person wouldn’t even notice that they were a malicious gossip, and might even confide secrets to them.

It’s like ice skating. Once you get to a certain level, you will categorize everyone on the ice. Based on their level, you consider what maneuvers or mistakes to expect from each skater.  There’s no maliciousness, but you are judging each skater’s ability.

So I’m working on being nonjudgemental. I’m trying to consider and categorize people, but in a benign, fair way